Merry Christmas versus Happy Holidays

It is two days before Christmas. I was just out enjoying the walking trails here in our retirement community. We are still adjusting to our community and new home. It is so odd to have moved in the middle of a pandemic. The experience of moving during a pandemic is odd to say the least. We aren’t engaged in the many things that would typically bring people together within a shared community.

As I was out walking, my thoughts were drawn to this blog. For the past six months I have struggled to blog regularly. My inability to consistently write about anything is frustrating. Often times I will think of something that I want to share and can’t bring myself to do so. It is as if I don’t feel like I have a right to share or post about anything during these dark times.

A thought did occur to me today. When we want to engage with someone and don’t understand their situation or circumstances, we are encouraged to meet them where they are at. In theory I understand this call. Particularly the need to be compassionate and empathetic. What I struggle with when I attempt to do this is some sort of lack within me. So many times, I really don’t understand where people are coming from or how things have been for them this year. Other times, I may lack the patience to simply be with someone on a particular issue or on a given day. That lack has paralyzed me from posting or attempting to engage. Thinking about meeting people where WE are at (the people that are meeting or engaging) resonates more with me. In fact, that is the essence of Wellness Begins Daily. The notion that on any given day and in any given moment we are simply called to be the best we can be in that moment. Maya Angelou’s quote comes to mind: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better do better.” It seems to me that we have to be able to give ourselves and one anther permission to learn, to grow and to become well; so that we can know better and do better. If we can develop the habit of approaching each interaction from where we are, we just might learn. The expression Namaste has the same intent. Spoken with respect and reverence it is a way to see and honor the reality of others. That which is the highest light within me honors and respects that which is the highest light within you. And, without a doubt, our light fluctuates from moment to moment. We recognize and honor that too.

As I was walking this morning, I encountered various people along the paths. As we approach people, we are all mindful of interactions and safety. We can each decide to keep our heads down and say nothing. To keep to ourselves. Or we can engage. Each a valid option. What is different and unique now, during the pandemic, we are now very aware of whether someone has a mask on. Sadly, masks and mask wearing has become politicalized in many ways. So, it has become hard not to be in contact and perhaps have some judgement, or perhaps fear for some. It is about 50/50 in terms of the people I encounter on the paths wearing masks. I always have one. That is easier for me than trying to remember the situations in which we are required to wear one. A couple of times early on I forgot mine and have felt the judgement, outwardly and inwardly. Just as I can feel the judgement when I do have one on in certain settings. Anyway, what I noticed this morning and this week is that if I simply engage with the greeting of “Merry Christmas”, those not wearing a mask are suddenly lighter or at east around my mask. It serves to otherwise open things up. I do get that Merry Christmas (vs. Happy Holidays) has also become politicalized. I understand, it is not the only holiday, and not all people are Christians. I don’t disagree with the movement toward Happy Holidays. I don’t disagree with the privileged view. I agree we have many holidays right now and all are worthy. It just seems to me in these moments and chance encounters, during a challenging time for many of us celebrating Christmas in our community and feeling disconnected, engaging is good. The open and lighter interactions help me feel connected. Ideally, I’d like to find a way to share our holidays and greetings. Happy Holidays seems to neutralize all of them. That is great for keeping us from potentially offending one another. Is neutral always inclusive though? It is safe, but does it help us learn from one another? I would love to see interactions where each person shares their seasonal greeting. That feels like a more learning form of neutral. Merry Christmas met with Happy Hanukkah. Sort of like saying hello and being greeted with bonjour.