Getting back to the mat

Today is Easter. It has always been a special holiday in our family. It was my Dad’s favorite and that has always been curious to me. Yes and No. Growing up he loved the Easter Egg Hunt. He put coins and later bills in the small plastic eggs and then hit them in our house on Warren Ave. I remember years when us younger kids had a separate hunt than the older kids. And I remember other years when we were all a bit older and only one hunt for those still at home. We’d forget about the hunt and Dad would just call out something randomly like “Joe is closest”. We’d all re-engage until one of us found the egg. One was taped under the lid of the sugar canister. It was just fun. My Dad was happy and playful. We were too. My Mom would host. It seems to me she always hosted. Our house had a perpetual open door. So many good memories.

Lately I’ve been wondering if later in life my Dad was drawn to the redemption message of Easter. He did a good job of overcoming demons that plagued him so much of his earlier life. Growing up we had a lot of quality time, challenging times and limited time with my Dad. He worked a lot or was wrestling with his demons. Later in life he was joyful. He just simply enjoyed all of us being together. My Mom did too. She always wanted us all together, and anyone else that came along. She loved entertaining. We had so many good times. Depending on where I was in life, I enjoyed supporting Mom in her hosting and the work that went into it. Other times I recall being so spent or stressed with my life and my demons. When I was out of synch it was difficult fitting in. Giving in was always tempting.

Self-care. Listening to your body and honoring your spirit are so essential to everyday wellness. I find it so beneficial to check in and to get centered. It can be a challenge though in group settings. At times it can feel like a balancing act at the very time your balance it out of whack. I suppose that is why it is a daily pursuit. Grief is a challenging time. It feels best when you cling to those that knew the deceased as well as you did. Those who can share the memories and sit with the pain. Or being completely alone, at least for me, to just take it in and let it wash over me. To wallow in it which doesn’t make a lot of sense to others that may be observing.

Lately I have been trying to spend more time on my yoga mat. The more I do, the more I wonder why I struggle to make it a daily ritual. It feels so good, almost indulgent. My body and mind both respond so well. I miss my daily prayer and

meditation practice. My goal is to bring it back, day by day.